Frog Morton's Trailer Park

Things haven’t been so great since Frog Morton lost his job. He had to move back to his parents single-wide on Frog Mortar Creek, just outside Baltimore. He did manage to get an endorsement deal with Mammoth Mart, but since those “narcissistic so-and-so’s” at his old job wouldn’t release his name or recipes, it was at a greatly reduced rate for his new brand “Dog Horton.” Poor old froggy has to make guest appearances in a hound suit, which is both undignified and itchy. Then there was that time ICE tried to deport him back to Middle Earth. Luckily, they couldn’t find it on the map.

But things are looking up. His latest blend, Dog Horton 420, with a secret ingredient sourced from his girlfriend’s parents farm up on Red Toad Road, has been a success, allowing Frog to move into his own single-wide with his significant other, Jennifer. She’s a different species but it’s a blue state so nobody cares. His newest blend, Choice Burley Design, is sure to be a mellow hit, says he.

So don’t cry for old F.M., but if you see a pipe smoking amphibian in the middle of a rainy road, please yield the right-of-way, it could be our hardworking hero.