Things haven’t been so great
since Frog Morton lost his job. He had to move back to his parents single-wide
on Frog Mortar Creek, just outside Baltimore. He did manage to get an
endorsement deal with Mammoth Mart, but since those “narcissistic so-and-so’s”
at his old job wouldn’t release his name or recipes, it was at a greatly
reduced rate for his new brand “Dog Horton.” Poor old froggy has to make guest
appearances in a hound suit, which is both undignified and itchy. Then there
was that time ICE tried to deport him back to Middle Earth. Luckily, they couldn’t
find it on the map.
But things are looking up.
His latest blend, Dog Horton 420, with a secret ingredient sourced from his
girlfriend’s parents farm up on Red Toad Road, has been a success, allowing
Frog to move into his own single-wide with his significant other, Jennifer.
She’s a different species but it’s a blue state so nobody cares. His newest
blend, Choice Burley Design, is sure to be a mellow hit,
says he.
So don’t cry for old F.M., and if you see a pipe
smoking amphibian in the middle of a rainy road, please yield the right-of-way,
it could be our hardworking hero.