A long walk with a pipe, a glowering look, and a stick for hitting people

(At the back of the hill) ... Everyone's first pipe is usually mediocre. But with proper care and handling it will give many years of service. I usually tell people buying their first pipe to choose something comfortable to the eye and easy to run a pipe cleaner through, so that two years later they won't wonder "what the hell was I thinking?!?", but instead "I'm glad I bought that, it pleases me". Continued