A blizzard, eh? Time to smoke myself stupid!

Here in Maryland, people tend to treat any snowfall with a certain amount of panic. Threats of a major snowfall bring about scenes that resemble the fall of Saigon. Friday was no different, the stores were packed, but I ventured out anyway, in search of cheap tobacco. I thought it might be fun to sample some of the brands of pipe tobaccos known as "drugstore blends."

Some people see drugstore tobacco as hopelessly inferior and some people love them. I am one of those people who are looking for the perfect drugstore blend - tasty, smooth, and ubiquitous - but I am not optimistic. All snootiness aside, many of these tobaccos aren't very good. I find this odd, because there are plenty of inexpensive cigars that I enjoy. Why is it so hard to make a cheap, tasty, widely available pipe tobacco?

I found a pretty good assortment at my local drugstore and a few more at my local 7-11. Here's what I've tried so far:


Carter Hall: This is my favorite, widely available, drugstore tobacco, it's a slightly sweetened burley blend that smokes well, all the way through, and isn't too goopy. Still, it does have a bit of a chemical aftertaste, almost all the drugstore varieties seem to have a chemical aftertaste, with the possible exceptions of Prince Albert and Five Brothers. But Prince Albert gives me a headache and Five Brothers (the best of the bunch), can be hard to find around here. Recommendation: If there's no Five Brothers available, and Prince Albert gives you a headache, then I recommend Carter Hall.

Captain Black: I really wanted to like this one, just for old time's sake. When I was a kid, Captain Black seemed to be the tobacco of choice for all the local scoutmasters. It's odd to discover that they had such indifferent tastes in pipe tobacco. It's not that Captain Black (white label) is so very bad, it's just not very good. Recommendation: Meh, maybe if you're on your way to a jamboree.

Middleton's Cherry Blend: This is made by the same people who make Carter Hall and tastes a lot like it, though not as good. It doesn't seem to have any cherry flavor whatsoever. Recommendation: Not recommended.

Black & Mild Cigars: What's a blizzard without some cheap cigars? Black & Mild's, another Middleton product, are o.k. by me. These little sticks are pipe tobacco (tastes like Cavendish?), in a cigar wrapper. They don't know what they want to be, sometimes the cigar taste wins out and sometimes the pipe flavoring, and that's the fun of them. Like Swisher Sweets however, they are a tad on the bitter side, if they could turn up the quality, just a notch or two, they'd really have something. Will they replace my beloved Marsh Wheeling's? No way. Recommendation: I like the "Fast Breaks," a short version of the brand, the larger one's get tiresome.

Well, it's only a few hours into the great blizzard and I'm already exhausting my cheap tobacco selection, so that's it for now. I'm sorry that I didn't come up with anything I could recommend with any conviction. Check back later for a look at Avanti Cigars, Zig-Zag "pipe tobacco"?, and whatever else gets lit up during the big storm.

Photo: A Black and Mild cigarillo in an ashtray, with package in background (GURoadrunner/Wikipedia)